I am a regular reader of “The Wine Dark Sea” blog [www.thewinedarksea.com/weblog.php]. Melanie’s Bella and my Gman are about the same age. Only Gman is an only child [sob] and Bella is the oldest of 3, soon to be 4. Our bedtime routine is vastly different but we’re trying to make it better and get the little man to bed sooner so that he can get more sleep. Having started PreSchool for the second year and just turned 5 we’re dealing with a bit of defiant behavior and I think getting enough rest might be the cure [or at least the beginning of one].
Our bedtime usually starts at 7:30 [we’re going to move it up to 7:00 beginning tonight] with me telling Gman to go upstairs, get undressed, and go potty. At which point he usually has something he HAS to do ….. like snuggle his blankey on the couch or finish a “project”, etc. Which ends up with me counting to 3 and pointing up the stairs where he reluctantly heads with an “Alright, I’m going already.”, insert huffy sigh here. I would like to say that he’s really obedient and I use the few minutes it takes him to undress to finish up the dishes and do whatever small task I need to accomplish before I head upstairs myself. Unfortunately, I finish what I’m doing and head upstairs to find him fully dressed and playing or laying on the floor snuggling blankey. At which point my frustration levels begin to rise. If ultimatums are issued downstairs I may occasionally find a naked boy, but rarely a pottied boy. So once undressing is commenced or finished [shirts can be tricky for little arms and big heads] we head to the bathroom. Sometimes using the potty is a quick and easy thing, but some nights “privacy” is required and then I’m guaranteed at least 5 minutes to do things like getting jammies ready or folding laundry. I’ve found that brushing teeth before we head into the shower to be a time saver, as he hates having them brushed and fights me on it. I can have the shower water warming up while I struggle to get a bit of cooperation. And my frustration levels rise. Once teeth are finished the water is usually warm [not always in the winter] and he gets into the shower. He backs into the water and drenches his head. I dump a bunch of baby wash on his head and soap him down from his hair to his toes, all at once. His face gets washed at the same time. He then backs back into the shower spray and I rinse his head and letting the water sluice down him so that he’s completely rinsed. If it’s late then I turn off the water and dry him off. If it’s still relatively early I let him play in the water for a few minutes. Once he’s dried I send him to his room and this time he usually listens and gets himself dressed in his PJs [which I lay out for him]. If Dad’s home we all head into Gman’s room. Dad and I kneel next to the bed and Gman lies on top of it. I have to commandeer blankey and any stuffed animals residing in the bed or it’s too much distraction. We say our prayers … Hail Mary, O My Jesus, Eternal Rest, and one from my childhood that blesses everyone in the family, especially the children. Then Dad and I climb into bed on either side of Gman and I give back the comfort items and we read a book. Sometimes it’s a picture book …. Andrew Henry’s Meadow, One Kitten for Kim, Tikki Tikki Tembo, Library Mouse, etc, but sometimes we also read chapter books …. Stuart Little, The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, Prince Caspian, Flat Stanley, etc. Once the book is read Dad turns off the light and Gman sings us a made up lullaby. It’s really sweet and often completely erratic and nonsensical and we have no idea what he’s singing about. But we love it just the same and ask for one every night. Then we all lay there together until Gman falls asleep. If Dad’s home I sometimes sneak out and some nights if I have stuff to do I leave Gman with a stack of picture books and the lights on so that he can “read” to himself. Usually the reading never happens and he falls asleep without having picked up one of the books. I know some people don’t think we should indulge him with laying down to put him to sleep. I know my mom thinks he’ll never learn to put himself to sleep if we continue to do this, but I doubt that I’m going to have to go to college with him to help him get to sleep. I love snuggling with him and watching him fall asleep. The long blinks, the attempt to keep the eyes open, the sudden limpness of his body, the soft, even sound of his breathing, the way he throws his arm over my neck or his blankey over my head. It’s all good.
So that’s our routine. The only thing I really want to change [besides getting more cooperation] is getting an earlier start. I’d like him to be asleep by 8 instead of turning out the lights at 8:30. So we’re going to try for an earlier bedtime or an earlier start to bedtime. It’s hard when I don’t get home until 5:30, but I have to sacrifice part of my evening with him so that he can get more rest. Not fun for me, but essential for him.
