Things are better

Things are better between Gman and myself.  I have calmed down and gotten a bit more of a sense of humor.  Instead of reacting in anger or frustration I am trying to defuse the situation with humor and laughter.  It’s working wonders.  Gman is responding with big belly laughs to his momma’s silliness and his momma is not having daily heart attacks or moments wondering if she is cut out for motherhood.  When Gman gets out of hand as three year olds are wont to do, hitting and acting out physically, I simply remove myself from the situation.  Last night at dinner he was hitting me in the arm [not hard or anything, just trying to get a response] and I picked up my food and moved a chair away from him so that he couldn’t reach me.  I told him that I didn’t sit next to boys that hit me.  I didn’t give it any value, meaning I didn’t tell him he was bad or make it any kind of judgment, I simply, moved and responded matter-of-factly to why I had done so when asked.  It kept me from being mad and stressed out that “I have a kid who hits and Oh My Goodness, what will I do when he goes to school and hits another kid and what will people think of him and me as a parent that I haven’t fixed this so we’d better get all over this now so that it can be fixed.”  It also kept me from being hit.  And now when he reacts physically, I tell him that I don’t play with boys who hit.  I try not to say it all negatively and just make it a statement.  He seems much happier and we are much closer.  We are talking to each other and playing together and I am enjoying him and he seems to be much less defiant.  In addition, I am spending more time with him doing things he likes.  Instead of expecting him to do what I need to do, I get what I can done and then we go and do something for him.  I needed to leave the house for dinner the other day and instead of taking him to a restaurant and expecting him to behave for the hour and a half it would have taken to eat dinner, I got carry out and we went to the park and sat at a picnic table.  He ate his dinner without complaint and without much fuss because he couldn’t wait to get on the equipment.  And when dinner was over, we blew some bubbles [and I used that as a way to clean his hands].  We spent 3 hours having fun and then went home and he played some more with his dad outside while I did some stuff inside the house.  I cannot thank all the moms who gave me advice enough gratitude.  Just getting some of it off my chest made me feel better and some of the advice I got was invaluable.  Thanks, Moms!! You guys keep me sane.