Sun bugs

You know those motes of dust that float through the air?  Well, according to Gman, they are “Sun bugs”.  He was sitting on the potty and I pulled a bit of TP off [sure to set the lint a-flyin’] and he started swatting at the air.  I asked “What are you doing?” and he replied, “I’m trying to catch one of the sun bugs, Mommy!  Try to catch one!”  Too funny, but makes perfect sense.  If you didn’t know any better what would you think if you saw hundreds of little white things randomly flying through the air, but only in the sunlight?

 

Small Successes 7-29-09

 

1. I didn’t kill my milkweed!  I thought in my determination to get rid of the aphids on the milkweed that I had overdosed them with dishwashing liquid.  Many of them turned “black” [stems and leaves] and a bunch of the leaves fell off.  I thought they were goners for sure.  But much to my delight, the aphids are back, but so are the milkweed beetles and milkweed pods.  I am anxious to see if I get any monarch butterflies this year.  We had 4 last year and Gman still talks about his caterpillar “Little” who turned into a butterfly.

 

2. I talked with my contractor about money.  My house suffered some rather severe damage back in January when a water pipe burst on the 2^nd floor and rained in my house for about 3 hours.  We have been undergoing reconstruction and construction with the same contractor for the last 6 months.  It has been arduous for all of us [even the contractor I think] but we are approaching the end.  We are over budget, as these things usually are, and I had to have a talk with the contractor about money.  VERY UNCOMFORTABLE!  But I did it! And now we have a meeting scheduled for later this afternoon to discuss options for getting costs under control.

 

3. After staying up WAY past my bedtime last night [2 am] and getting awoken at 3:30 by a little man claiming to have had a “bad dream” – child lingo for I want to sleep with you and Daddy – I managed to get out of bed and to work by 7 AM.  Got to work, but I think I will be chastising myself severely for staying up too late.  Still, Success! I got to work.

Small Successes

 

1. I got up.  I actually got out of bed at 5:15 AM, showered, dressed, made coffee, left the house without making too much noise, and picked up my co-worker, making it to work by 6 AM.  For a night owl who hates the worm [the early bird gets the …], this feels like a major accomplishment.

 

2. I made it to the doctor’s office on time and had the HUGE cyst on my wrist drained.  I’ve had this thing since February and it’s been grossing my husband out almost as long, so I finally did something about it.

 

3. I have kept the plant that my co-workers sent me on my father’s death alive for 3 ½ years now.  Granted there has been a bit of watering intervention by said co-workers, but still, mostly the girl with the black thumb [when it comes to houseplants] has had one for 3 years now.

Things are better

Things are better between Gman and myself.  I have calmed down and gotten a bit more of a sense of humor.  Instead of reacting in anger or frustration I am trying to defuse the situation with humor and laughter.  It’s working wonders.  Gman is responding with big belly laughs to his momma’s silliness and his momma is not having daily heart attacks or moments wondering if she is cut out for motherhood.  When Gman gets out of hand as three year olds are wont to do, hitting and acting out physically, I simply remove myself from the situation.  Last night at dinner he was hitting me in the arm [not hard or anything, just trying to get a response] and I picked up my food and moved a chair away from him so that he couldn’t reach me.  I told him that I didn’t sit next to boys that hit me.  I didn’t give it any value, meaning I didn’t tell him he was bad or make it any kind of judgment, I simply, moved and responded matter-of-factly to why I had done so when asked.  It kept me from being mad and stressed out that “I have a kid who hits and Oh My Goodness, what will I do when he goes to school and hits another kid and what will people think of him and me as a parent that I haven’t fixed this so we’d better get all over this now so that it can be fixed.”  It also kept me from being hit.  And now when he reacts physically, I tell him that I don’t play with boys who hit.  I try not to say it all negatively and just make it a statement.  He seems much happier and we are much closer.  We are talking to each other and playing together and I am enjoying him and he seems to be much less defiant.  In addition, I am spending more time with him doing things he likes.  Instead of expecting him to do what I need to do, I get what I can done and then we go and do something for him.  I needed to leave the house for dinner the other day and instead of taking him to a restaurant and expecting him to behave for the hour and a half it would have taken to eat dinner, I got carry out and we went to the park and sat at a picnic table.  He ate his dinner without complaint and without much fuss because he couldn’t wait to get on the equipment.  And when dinner was over, we blew some bubbles [and I used that as a way to clean his hands].  We spent 3 hours having fun and then went home and he played some more with his dad outside while I did some stuff inside the house.  I cannot thank all the moms who gave me advice enough gratitude.  Just getting some of it off my chest made me feel better and some of the advice I got was invaluable.  Thanks, Moms!! You guys keep me sane.

Book Review

#54 [100 Cupboards] by N. D. Wilson

 

As a reader, I really liked this book, as a parent, I have mixed feelings.  From the parental perspective, why is always necessary for kids to be brave and strong and intelligent without parents?  Look at Disney stories, Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty (had to leave her parents), Snow White (where was her father in all that?), The Little Mermaid (okay, there was a dad, but where was Mom?) and look at the popular works of fiction for young adults: The [Harry Potter] series, [The Mysterious Benedict Society] series (Sticky had parents but ran away from them in the first book), [My Side of the Mountain] (his parents exist but he leaves them behind).  And now [100 Cupboards].  I know that parents are supposed to protect kids and keep them from harm, but what about a book where the parents help the kid have an adventure?  It would be nice to have more books like the [Percy Jackson] series where the mother (who granted, isn't in the books that much and father is pretty much absent) helps her son do the things that he must.  It would be nice if the parents weren't welcome mats, but someone the kid could count on to help with trouble, a venerable guide, a font of wisdom, not someone to be defied and proven wrong, but someone that recognized the potential of the kid and helped him achieve.  It would be nice if the kid succeeded with the help of the parents instead of in spite of the parents (or lack thereof).

 

However, as a story I liked it.  Henry moves to live with his aunt and uncle and 3 female cousins in Henry, KS.  It's a good adventure, a little dark in some parts, but otherwise well written and easy to follow.  The development of Henry's character was interesting, seeing how he was over protected by his parents and now experiencing freedom and a chance to be a kid.  In connection with my above rant, I thought the way Henry's parents treated him was interesting.  They didn't treat him like a kid, more like a Ming vase which they tried to protect but didn't relate to.  Which becomes an interesting story arc that I liked.  I'm going to save this book for my son for when he's in about 2nd grade.

I messed up

Last night Gman was taking a bath and I had my feet in the tub with him.  As I was getting them out to get a towel to get him out, he started to try and pinch me with a pair of plastic pliers that he plays with in the tub.  I said “Now why would you want to do that?” and his response broke my heart.  He said, “Because I am an evil, evil boy.”  Seriously, even just thinking about it makes me want to cry.  I immediately stopped what I was doing and got up as close to him as I could and asked him if anyone had told him that.  He wouldn’t make eye contact, but I persisted and he ended up saying he was just joking.  I don’t buy it.  I think my bad attitude has affected him.  I think I yell WAY too much and tell him that he’s being a bad boy or mean and I think he has internalized it.  I think I am a horrible mother.  No wonder God has answered my prayers for another child with a resounding NO.  I’m screwing up the one I have so bad that it would be injustice to send me a second one.  The other day he said he was a “mean boy” and I corrected him, but obviously I’m doing it wrong and making him think there is something wrong or bad with him.  He’s only 3 [going on 4], he shouldn’t think he’s bad.  He is a boy and he is a 3 year old boy.  He’s mischievous and a bit rough [okay, a lot rough].  He doesn’t understand why it isn’t funny to hurt people.  This morning while we were saying our prayers I made sure to thank God for my wonderful son and say how blessed I was to have him and how wonderful I think he is and how good.  How can I teach him to be kind?  How can I teach him to be the wonderful little boy I know he can be without making him feel bad about himself.  Oh God, please help me to be the mother you want me to be, help me to lead my son to love Your Son and to be the man you want him to be.  I am feeling so lost and horrible and helpless.  Please God, help me.

Fried tomatoes

I had fried tomatoes at a restaurant the other day and they were delicious.  I tried to make them for dinner Tuesday night, but something wasn’t quite right.  I used milk as the liquid to adhere the breading, which I think was the first problem.  I used too much basil [fresh from my garden – I got a little overzealous in my excitement to use home grown stuff].  The breading wasn’t spicy enough.  Too much balsamic vinegar.

 

My recipe was

 

2 large, not over-ripe red tomatoes, sliced evenly

Milk

Bread crumbs

¾ lb Bacon, fried

Drizzle of balsamic vinegar

Mozzarella ball, thinly sliced

S and P to taste

 

Cook the bacon, drain on paper towels and reserve the drippings in the skillet.  Dip tomato slices into the milk then into the bread crumbs.  Pat to make sure crumbs adhere.  Fry tomatoes in the bacon grease.  Remove to a plate.  Snip fresh basil over tomatoes.  Drizzle with balsamic vinegar.  Top with Mozzarella slice and bacon.  S and P to taste.

 

Next time I think I am going to use egg or an egg/milk mix for the liquid and cracker crumbs ground in the food processer with a little Italian seasoning and some cayenne pepper.  I’ll also be a little more judicious in my use of the balsamic vinegar and basil.  Too much of a good thing, I guess.  I’ll also take out most of the bacon grease and only use what I need to brown the tomatoes.  I think they got soggy from too much grease.