Lush or mother?

I was at home with the boys all day yesterday.  I wandered into the kitchen around 1:30 PM after going to 12:10 Mass [Holy Day of Obligation – Feast of the Immaculate Conception – No School] and noticed the open bottle of wine on the counter [not open as in uncorked, but open as in previously uncorked and now just sitting there mocking me].  Does it make me a lush to say that I was really tempted to have a glass?  Does it make me a bad mother to admit that I mentally counted how long it would be until 5 PM?  I love Gman.  I used to think I would love being a stay-at-home-mom, but now I don’t know.  I guess I could do it, but is it horrible that I’m sort of glad that I can’t?  We all function so much better with a schedule and I am notorious for not being able to stick with one.  I can make them.  Give me a sheet of paper and a list of things that need to get accomplished and you will see schedule perfection.  I have a beautiful home cleaning schedule in my basement.  Never used it but bought all the things to make it, sat down and made it, and then let it gather dust.  Going to school Gman gets the structure he needs, Dad gets to accomplish things that he wants to, and I ….. I still think about wine.